To Check or Not to Check...That is the Question!

I guess I really should have entitled this blog trust, because that's what a lot of people would say this issue boils down to. Do you trust your significant other enough not to snoop through their email, text messages, voicemail, etc.?

Check out this article about a man who checked his wife's gmail account and is now facing up to 5 years of imprisonment for doing so:

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/news-by-industry/et-cetera/us-husband-facing-five-years-in-jail-for-hacking-wifes-emails/articleshow/7177453.cms

Now I'll be quite frank...I'm nosier than the nosiest girl you know and I like to know what's going on with my man. I have come to the point where I trust my babe enough to not check all of his accounts, but believe me it took some time to get there lol. However, the thought that someone can be sent to jail for checking emails scares the future lawyer in me (nothing's screwing up my admission to the bar...not after these 2.5 years of torture!). Understandably, there is a level of privacy that must be respected and I know it's a federal offense to mess with someone else's mail, so the same probably should be applicable to email. However, when is it OK to check someone else's email? What if you have a keylogger program on your computer that takes periodic screen shots? Is it a crime to look at screen shots that might show glimpses of another person's email? I smell slippery slope here.....

But, back to my original question...to check or not to check? Let's ignore the potential illegality of checking your hunny's accounts...would you check it? I've always been a proponent for checking because of my past experiences. I've caught a few men in the midst of their lies (whether I've confronted them or not) and these experiences left me even more suspicious of men and what they may be hiding. Yes, I love my boyfriend and I trust him, but I was damaged in the beginning and I needed confirmation. To be honest, some of you reading this right now know that if you checked your mate's email, voicemail, or facebook account right now you'd see some stuff that would knock the word trust out of your vocabulary. To one up that thought, some of you know that if your mate checked your accounts that would be the end of your relationship.


And please don't come at me with the whole "if you think he's cheating on you, just leave. Why check his email" nonsense. What if you don't think he's cheating on you and he is? (I say he, but this is applicable to girls too). There are some naive chicks out there that need to check something of his just so they can hear the other female seducing their man on his voicemail for themselves.

I don't know. I think I'm an advocate for a probation period. Check his stuff for a month...if you don't find anything, you're probably in a good position. However, if you see something that peaks your interest, do your research lol. I know more than half the people that read this are going to strongly disagree with me, but that's how I feel...sorry *kanye shrug* Ignorance is not bliss!


That's all for now bloggers and bloggettes. As always, Grace and peace be with you! Jesus is Lord!

*Oh, and this is about 4 days late, but...next time you say Christmas do not omit Christ! Do some research about what you're celebrating. Taking Christ out of that makes it pointless and materialistic. It's all about Jesus!!!!

How Long Will the Status Quo Be Enough....

So, I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about a situation that her friend is in (and yes people, this is someone's situation...it's not a roundabout way for me to avoid directly talking about my issues lol). To avoid directly putting her friend's business out here on the world wide web, I'll fudge the facts a little and give a name to our Anonymous Annie....so here's the hypo:

Diane is a single 29 year old college graduate. She's fairly successful in all realms of her life expect one area...love. See, she's been dating Tyrell for 3 years without a commitment. Diane is well aware of the fact that Tyrell is involved with other women and she is seemingly OK with that. Or is she?

Now analyze this situation ladies. I've met plenty of women in Diane's situation or a variation of her situation. I've even been in a variation of this situation. I wholeheartedly believe that you can't call this a relationship because it's not. It's a situation...that needs to be dealt with. The question is when. And really, that's up to Diane. No one can make her leave until she's ready. I'm not really a fan of Keri Hilson, but honestly every woman does have a breaking point. What's yours? When does the "status quo" stop being a enough and you realize that you're worth more than the situation you're in.

I'm in a relationship and we have our ups and downs, but at the end of the day he treats me the way I deserve to be treated and my status quo is what it needs to be. So, I couldn't really give my friend the right advice when she asked me what to tell her friend to make her realize that she deserves more. I mean...yeah, I was there once. I didn't realize I deserved better than what I was getting, but you couldn't tell me to leave. I truly believe at the point the fear of being alone got in the way of realizing the potential of what it could be like to be happy with someone who honestly loved me. Hindsight is 20/20 and if I were blasted back to 2005/06/07....well, my whole college years lol, I would smack myself in the face until I woke up and stopped being stupid! Yet, on the other hand I am a true believer in the quote that says something to the effect of "I never understood why it didn't work out with the others until I met you". Not being treated like I deserve helped me to appreciate the love that my booca showers me with on a daily basis...so in that sense, I don't regret anything.

However, that still doesn't answer the overarching question. If you are a woman in a situation that you know you're not happy in...ask yourself....when does the status quo stop being enough? Do you expect him to change one day and suddenly decide you're the perfect girl for him? (I typed that with a lot of sarcasm). Or are you just hoping that while you're in this situation you'll suddenly meet someone you are supposed to be with...someone who loves you and will care for you. I will warn you about this...while you're stupidly in love with this idiot who cannot appreciate you for the Queen that you are, you may be stupidly letting the King that God has predestined to be you husband slip through your fingers. Think about ending the status quo today.

Sex is not enough...you're never alone with God...Love is a word that comes and goes...Find someone who truly means and understands those four letters

And as always in parting...Grace and Peace be with you....Jesus is Lord!